It’s amazing what can happen when I’m not careful with my emotional shotgun.

It’s just a theory, but I can feel that Mike has completely pulled back. And can I blame him?

What an excellent question.

Part of me says no. That part, the rational, logical part of me, understands what he’s doing. Self-protection has long been my motto. How hypocritical of me to argue with that.

The other part of me says yes. I can certainly blame him. (This is the part of me that houses my heart, you see.) He gave me his heart and all that came with it. Very sweetly. And now, he’s taken it away. And that kind of loss I’m not sure I can withstand. It’s unfair. I made a mistake.

*sigh*

This, of course, dredges up all kinds of old shit. Shit I hate.

But I’m not sure what to do. I feel very stuck in this situation. How can I reassure Mike, when the reassurances might just be empty? But in my heart, I know that walking away from him on a permanent basis just might kill me.

That loss might be too deep.

Sighing deeply,

michelle