“I woke up right outside your door

and wished that I was dead

I felt last night’s oblivion

crashing through my head…”

Wow, I just realized while typing those lyrics that it’s been two months since I’ve seen Javier. Weird.

During a meeting with another IR today, I had another one of my Girl Scout flashes. You know, the one where I’m seven years old and selling Girl Scout Cookies door-to-door, yet someone is counting on me to do really professional things like present 401(k) reviews and employee education plans to 30 different employers… Like a temporal shift in my personal reality.

Or just a temporary break in my confidence.

“Little did I know that it would hurt this bad

Call it symptoms of withdrawal

But I want you back…”

The phone rang around 10pm, and I thought, what, a miracle? No miracle, but Tiffany. It was really good to talk to her. I’ve missed having her around the house.

I’d been taking a bath, and the bath got cold while we talked. After the bath, as is my usual custom, I checked my e-mail, and wasn’t left quite so cold this time to see an empty mailbox.

And I’m not so surprised that it’s so late and my phone has been silent.

“I’m getting used to the silence…

Getting used to the silence…

Getting used to the silence…

Without you…”

I look back over the day and see that I’ve been pretty damned busy. When I throw myself into something, it doesn’t know what hit it. That’s my business these days. And I can now go to bed with a sense of accomplishment - I’m not the one who’s losing.

“…And it’s starting to feel good…

And it’s starting to feel good…

And it’s starting to feel good…”

Thanking Javi again for great lyrics,

michelle