I’ve spent the day running on adrenaline, and I think it’s finally run out.

Big meeting with 401(k) people, lunch meeting with wholesalers and reps, prospecting meeting with a car dealership that went violently awry (and was later fixed, although I think I aggravated a fellow broker), and a PTO meeting tonight with some really good leads.

In between I argued (delicately) with a field supervision officer about commissions, placed some trades, discussed an account with a client, had Maria set appointments, made lunch plans for tomorrow, and declared my desk a Federal Disaster Area and had Maria apply for federal aid.

Put a fork in me. I’m done.

I thought about Mike in the few spare seconds I had, wondering if the e-mail I sent him yesterday was a really horrible thing, or the best thing I could have done. I dunno. It certainly wasn’t gentle, that’s for sure.

Maybe too many people have been gentle with him. He’s got a quicksilver temper, and I think too many people tiptoe around it, because he holds such grudges.

I’m too far gone to care, I think.

I’m wondering how I’m going to eat in April, which is weighing me down. It’s adding a sort of nasty desperation to my sales, which is, of course, in return making me seem desperate and making people run to the hills in flocks.

I’d always heard that inactivity at this job will come back to bite you in the ass six weeks later. Well, guess who was basically sleeping through the end of January/beginning of February?

*sigh*

I’m looking forward to Sunday. Maybe I’ll sleep then.

Ack, am I whining and whining again?

No, no, good things are happening too. They just have their own schedule, and to be honest, I could really use some really good stuff right now. Typical.

My son is the smartest kid in the world. Sometimes he really scares me, because I don’t think he can possibly share my genetic heritage. Witness the healthiest conversation I’ve had in weeks:

(After he blew me kisses at bedtime and I tucked them into my heart:)

J:  ”Do you have lots of love in there?”

M:  ”It’s all for you, sweetie.”

J:  ”Welllllll… save some for yourself.”

Thank God for Justin. That’s all I have to say.

Nodding off,

michelle