The Javier Mendoza Band was playing an acoustic set at Brandt’s Cafe on the Loop tonight, and I thought it would be a great place to hang out for a while. I dragged Carol there for dinner, even though I knew it would be extremely expensive, because the last show I’d strong-armed her into was at Blueberry Hill in the Duck Room (basement). The Duck Room fills with smoke pretty much immediately, and it had been Cinqo de Mayo, so Javi played all Spanish songs to keep in the spirit of things.

It hadn’t been a great introduction for Carol.

Tonight was much more fun. The guys were playing in the very front of the restaurant, which isn’t very large to begin with. When I walked in out of the pouring rain, the guys were warming up. I wasn’t sure if Carol had arrived yet, so I had to wander around looking for her. I nearly caught Javi’s eye (as I had to walk right in front of him) but I didn’t want to feel any more like a groupie than I already did. “Oh Javi! Hi Javi! ::giggle::” Yeah, that’s what I needed.

He actually tried to catch my eye a couple times, and when I walked by, he said hello into the mic. That did nearly make me giggle.

Then our waiter nearly made me giggle again. Leave it to me to fall in love with waiters. This one was older, though - nearly my age! Carol and I decided that he was in law school or medical school. I asked him at one point if he was a singer, and he laughed long enough for me to be uncomfortable. I just shrugged and said I was curious. (It’s always the singers I go for.)

I think the hardest thing about the evening was sitting next to the band’s table. Girlfriends, wives, and even the attorney were there. It made me feel a little lonely. I’m sure Carol wouldn’t understand that if I told her, but it wasn’t Carol or anything. It was just that this group of people seemed to be so in tune to each other, such good friends, that it made me miss having a bunch of friends around all the time. People with a common goal, a common love. Inside jokes and shared dreams. Maybe I’m being a little melodramatic, but as the night went on it was harder and harder to not scoot my chair over to their table and join in (uninvited). Luckily, I held back. (Ha.)

Their set was wonderful (when is it not?) yet I dragged home at midnight feeling yucky. This whole lack-of-friends thing is really getting me down, and I’m not sure how to change it. Maybe that’s getting me down the most. Ugh. Something needs to change.

Wanting in-tuneness,

michelle