Pamela Ribon ruined my day.

Better known to the world as Pamie (formerly of squishy), she managed to make my soup go cold and depress me at the same time. Some people have a lot of nerve.

Her novel Why Girls are Weird is a hoot. In a world where the mention of online journalling is inevitably followed by a question of, “Why would you do that?” WGAW is refreshing. The protagonist is a thirty-something librarian who begins an online journal. Why? Because she’s bored at work - completely understandable. She also wants to placate her friend Dale, who has been nagging her to start writing again. As is typical with online journalling, various quibbles and trials of the heart ensue.

I’ve been dragging it around with me for nearly two months, trying to complete it in all my overwhelming “downtime.” In other words, every trip to St. Louis Bread Co finds WGAW dragged along. Today was no exception. With Javi’s site rebuild burning a hole in my brain (as well as my stomach lining) I actually spent some time in the office. As embarrassing as it is to say, this is the first Saturday I’ve wandered into work in several months.

Five hours later I left, kicking myself for wasting a Saturday at the office. To make it up to myself, I took a nap. It was one of those ultra-decadent middle-of-the-day naps - the kind that make you so relaxed you never want to get out of bed. At least, that’s what they do for me.

By evening, I was feeling pretty good about everything. I’d been able to start the day by snuggling with Justin, I’d put in a serious five hours at work, I was refreshed for the evening with my nap, and now it was time to eat and work on the JMB site.

That’s when everything took a bit of a turn. ::sigh::

Why Girls are Weird had slowed a little in the middle - just a little - but near the end was moving rather nicely. There’s a girl, and there’s a boy, and there’s the internet, and it’s all good. But suddenly I found that the day had turned to dusk, and my broccoli cheddar soup was cold.

Of course, there’s also the small fact that my heart was a little lonely, too. Pamie managed to write about the scenario every Princess TechHead dreams of. Boy finds web site, boy writes girl…

I’m tired of having the lonelies. Javi invited me to Columbia MO to watch the band play, but I couldn’t imagine driving there and watching by myself. It’s bad enough to spend Saturday night alone - but spending Saturday night alone in a crowd sucks rocks.

One day, things will be different. And I’m really not too glum about them now. But once in a while, Discontentment wants to wrestle with me, and I’ll let it. At least now I win more than I lose.

Trying to focus,

michelle