I’m so incredibly tired of being so incredibly stressed. Truly, it’s all getting out of hand.

I used to have time. Time to do things, time to be bored, time to watch a little tv and decompress. Now I have no time. I am working on Javi’s site every spare minute of my life. My weekends are completely taken up - voluntarily - by Stephen. But soon I’m going to come crashing down.

I’m back to feeling sick all the time. I hate that. I just want everything in life to calm down. I want it to go back to where it was when I was whining about being bored.

Except, I wouldn’t give up my time with Stephen for anything in the world.

So, here I am.

My current stress is so stupid I can hardly believe it. It revolves around Valentine’s Day.

I’ve decided that I want to marry Stephen. I’m so done. I’m so in love with him it’s incredible. I’ve never met anyone like him in all my life.

And so, here’s Valentine’s Day. Right? And I spend every moment wondering if this day will be the day he asks.

If he doesn’t, I’m okay. But I guess I’ll be disappointed. If he does, I’ll be happy - that’s a given. But will he or won’t he? I’m tired of stressing about it. Really, it’s not in my hands, so I should just forget about it and enjoy the day.

There are so many things I want to do with Stephen. So many things I want to share, places I want to show him. There’s just never enough time. But we could make time on Valentine’s Day.

Should I make suggestions? Or should I let him lead the day? Is this the stupidest stress ever, or what?

Being strange,
michelle