I just couldn’t let this go. On the day that Missouri voters decide if a boy can marry a boy and if a tiny town of 577 people can have a riverboat to screw Branson, we also got to vote for the gubernatorial primary.

I voted like a good little citizen. (And yes, I wiped out one of your liberal votes - ha ha.) But while doing my research on the candidates I came up with two of the most frightening people I’ve ever seen. Seriously, I have to look into exactly what it takes to run for governor of Missouri. Maybe I’ll get my cocker spaniel to give it a shot - if these wingnuts can do it!

(The following information is quoted directly from the St. Louis Post-Disgrace and is NOT the opinion of this author!)

Roy W. Lang, 68, from Salem MO

What main item of legislation would you seek if you are elected or re-elected?
I believe the size, scope and expense of government, including state government, is too large. I would like to encourage more people to return to small business for many reasons. An increase in competition will result in more goods for dollars and an increase in ingenuity will limit foreign competition.

What is the primary reason you are qualified to serve?
I have been engaged in small business all my life and so has my family and we have seen how destructive big government spending is to a family enterprise. Thomas Jefferson envisioned a nation of small businesses and farmers.

What issue most separates you from your opponents?
No politician has stated any proposal to redistribute competition. Large corporations raise prices, pricing themselves out of the market and clearing the way for foreign competitors who can capture that market because the cost of living in America is more than in China and Mexico. I also am calling for everyday people to join forces to build ethanol stills of moderate size to cut our dependency on foreign oil.

[Editorial Page Department Questions]

How should the state ensure that poor families and children can obtain health care?
There are many facilities for poor people. I think more people would be less poor if inflation would stop or we could somehow have a controlled deflation. It would result in more goods for the dollar, which creates jobs. Remember, Henry Ford lowered the price of cars for the first 15 to 20 years with ingenuity.

Do you support the use of state funds or facilities for stem-cell research? Explain.
If it is so important, private money should and would be used. If it turns out that it is not so important, then the government has no business promoting it. It is too soon to tell. Let’s wait and see what develops.

Do you support the lawsuit seeking to require the state to adequately fund education? If the court orders the state to substantially increase funding, where will you find the money?

Absolutely not. Teachers have been crying for higher wages continually for more than 100 years. They also need to use more ingenuity and diversification. Is a teacher more important than a parent? If not, why confiscate tax money from the one who earns it?

The Missouri Supreme Court upheld the concealed gun law, but not its method of funding. What should the next legislature do about this problem?
Let’s see what develops. If the public wants it, they will find a way to get it privately. There are too many laws anyhow. So why confuse the issue? Besides, most people will not carry. But the lawbreakers won’t know who he is.

What would you most like to accomplish in office?

I would like to see a reduction in state expense. More mom-and-pop shops and entrepreneurship and more responsive small corporation finance by the public. A dividend check would be better than a Social Security check. There also are many other advantages. I would encourage more people to engage in growing vegetable and specialty crops on small acreage with less expensive equipment.
I would like to see ethanol production increased. Some state services can be cut back and privatized, such as cutting grass on highways and county roads. Also, much county equipment can be shared by the various counties. Expand the use of toll roads. Cut the state budget by 10 percent.

And my very, very favorite:
Should the Legislature raise the $500 loss limit on casinos? If so, should it increase the tax on casinos?

This is a tough question. Fools and addicts do need some protection or at least a strong warning.

And our next candidate:

Martin Lindstedt , 46, truck driver, from Granby MO

What main item of legislation would you seek if you are elected or re-elected?

Government officials pretty much do whatever they want without fear of prosecution or civil litigation. To prevent this, absolute and qualified immunities against state and local officials should be rescinded. Impanel permanent grand juries at the county level, changeable every six months. Violation of the Sunshine laws should have felony jail penalties. It should be made a crime to practice law for profit, thus ending the lawyers’ monopoly. Non-lawyers should be able to run for prosecutor or judge. No lawyer would be allowed to run for an executive or legislative office. Jails would be made available for inspection by a local committee of outsiders.

What is the primary reason you are qualified to serve?

Since I am probably the most clever and ruthless of the revolutionary resistance political activists in Missouri — a militia leader who disbanded his militias with none of them ever charged with any crimes — and I have been accused of advocating domestic terrorism and “thinking like a terrorist,” able to “think outside the box” and having not been caught doing anything other than using the First Amendment, it would stand to reason that someone like myself would be able to “go with the revolutionary flow,” enhancing methods of overthrowing this mighty evil empire. I might be able to figure out how to keep this criminal regime running for an extra day or so.

What issue most separates you from your opponents?

I am the only candidate of either political party in Missouri who is an overt white nationalist. My goal is to destroy the Missouri Republican Party by divorcing from these suburban corporate supremacists the genuine racists like myself. By taking away our minority bloc of 3 to 5 percent, we destroy the basis by which these corporate Republicans at the statewide level survive politically. Since the percentage of victory for governor and U.S. senator in 2000 and 2002 was less than 1 percent, a loss of the downstate white base for the Republican panderers means that the Republicans must either become pro-white in reality or go extinct as a political party. It is far better to deal with open enemies like the Democrats than false-friend race-traitors like the Republicans. White nationalists need to stay home or even vote Democrat rather than support Republican race-traitors.

[Editorial Page Department Questions]

How should the state ensure that poor families and children can obtain health care?

I support making the safety net available only to white families and children. By eliminating these unnecessary expenses, the social safety net should have enough funds to operate supporting poor white families.

Do you support the lawsuit seeking to require the state to adequately fund education? If the court orders the state to substantially increase funding, where will you find the money?

I do not support the lawsuit to adequately fund education. The public schools are indoctrination centers to destroy young minds.

And again, the most bizarre response from this candidate:

What would you most like to accomplish in office?

I would like to create a social order akin to that of 1875 Missouri, in that the white man is the absolute master of family and state, the white woman is cared for within the family setting and it is heaven on earth for white children. This past reality shall eventually return by means of revolution, civil warfare, famine, disease and death. But I am willing to forswear civil, racial, religious and class warfare and bloodshed if I get my way and am elected governor of Missouri.

* * * * *

I was going to put their pictures up, because they are both hella scary, but decided it wasn’t worth my server space.

(Oddly enough, though, each of these candidates has over 1,000 votes as I type - 9:40p central.)

All I have to say is

Yikes,
michelle