I was pretty excited to attend the baby shower. A majority of the aunts who “opted out” of the wedding were actually attending. And, in a spate of not-unexpected irony, my mother-in-law decided not to. Shock and surprise there. Not.

We held the party at my office, because my assistant Angela threw it for me, and we couldn’t think of another large enough place to hold it. Stephen drove me to the office so he could say hello to his aunts, and ended up being talked into staying for the entirety. I think he enjoyed himself - as much as a guy can enjoy silly shower parties and oohing and aahing over tiny baby clothes!

The strangest things crossed my mind during the shower. For example, it was weird to see that everyone related to me dressed up, like I did, while everyone related to Stephen didn’t. I mean, it’s no big deal, but it was something I noticed.

I think I was just nervous, being around so many people I’d barely even met. I was also nervous because part of me wonders if anyone was sitting there doing the math. (I really need to get over that. Soon.)

This party really brought home the fact that we’re having a baby. Actually, I don’t think S.’s having the trouble I am with it. We’ve been working on the nursery, buying formula and diapers, and obviously I’m getting huge. But a real baby? Wow. Every time I opened up a little tiny outfit a little shiver would go down my spine.

I’m really having mixed emotions now. I want the baby to come, but I don’t feel ready. I hope to get past this soon. Maybe this ambivalence is a good thing… making me think. I’m just glad the shower went well. I missed Carol (who had a nasty case of flu) but it was great to have everyone else there.

Showered,
michelle