I haven’t had a job interview in six years. I guess that’s a good sign, right? I’m a “steady, dependable employee.” I stayed at my previous job for over seven years - they all thought of me as a lifer (as I was one of the only semi-original employees remaining when I quit).

I’ve been ’round and ’round about this job I have, and seriously took inventory of it while I was on leave. I hate my job. I loathe it. It’s hard to describe the feeling of utter dread that washes over me when the alarm goes off in the morning. I would rather be flipping burgers, collecting trash, and scraping road kill. At once.

My broker friends are in dismay over my frustration. What about the pay? The trips? (Which, I might add, I’ve never earned.) Having your own office? Having an assistant?

And then I look at reality. I’m not good at it. I suck at sales. I’m good with money. I love to help people plan for retirement, college, etc. I hate hate hate watching people NOT plan for retirement, college, etc. My mother says I should just not let it bother me. But you see, it does, and I figure if I’m waking up at 2am worrying about John Jones’ retirement, and he’s not, I’m in the wrong line of work.

I will miss some of my clients. I consider some of them friends. But the vast majority are a sincere pain in my ass, and I’m through.

It didn’t seem to be much of a shock to my boss. My numbers have continually dropped since I got pregnant with Alyssa, and my personality hasn’t been so positive. Honestly, this job is grinding at me. I’m difficult enough to live with on a normal day, but lately? What a grouch.

Luckily enough, there is a position available in our in-house trust company. I’ll lose all my licenses, but really, I’m so incredibly tired of selling investments that I don’t care. I just want to move on.

I got past the HR screening interview last week, and I’m headed in for the “real” interview tomorrow. Two hours of questions with four different people. It feels like sorority rush all over again.

Thursday I start classes for the first time in seven years. I want to get my paralegal certificate and eventually do something super cool and groovy with it. I seriously considered law school, but St. Louis has two law schools - one that costs $130k and one that costs $150k. Plus, with three kids (including two in diapers) I didn’t think that made much sense.

Hell, the paralegal certificate may not make much sense either, but I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge. I’ve certainly set myself up for one. Every Thursday for eight weeks I’ll be in school from 1p to 10p. Yikes.

Wish me luck. And luck. And luck.

Nervously,
mich