I've been reading your entries and while reading them I often think..WOW!We have a lot in common. I am only a Freshmen in college but I have strong Christian values. I am Southern Baptist. That's one of the reasons I am concerned, you have stated before that you are a Christian and believe strongly in your religion, why then do you curse, critize, and most important in my religion and I'm sure in yours too, you had sex before marriage? Maybe you shouldn't post that you are a Christian because others reading who arn't Christians will say to themselves "Hmm she considers herself a Christian, why then isn't she acting like one?" Please reconsider how you act as a Christian, we want others to come to God not draw away from Him.

~Your sister in Christ.

Well...perhaps there is a misunderstanding here...Maybe the person would like to be accepted for who he/she is...just like you state in your earlier post.."Don't Change a Thing for Me"....And should you change the way you see truth to do that? No..I do not think so...I think we each see what is right and wrong through out different faiths and ways...Personally (my opinion ...for what it is worth) we have no business in the bedroom of another being. I do not hear anger from you Michelle...I think you have not been heard and should be given another chance to express those feelings..and yes, it would be frustrating.
It is easy for me to see, standing back, that what is being said is...Michelle cannot agree with homosexuality due to her faith...but she is not saying..she cannot love the homosexual..There is a big difference there.
Hoping it can be worked out...with love

Definitely, my God is not the same as yours.

Hypocrisy and incoherence suck.

For the record? People like you frustrate me, too.

To my Southern Baptist sister: I believe I said (and have said many times) that I am not perfect. If I must be perfect to be a Christian, then I'm reading the wrong Bible. I had a good friend once who said, "God loves ALL his wild animals, too." The difference between Southern Baptist theology and reformed theology tends to be licensiousness versus legalism. I try to fall somewhere in between. SB tends to lean towards legalism. And I AM a Christian, that's why I say I'm one. I had someone e-mail me at one point saying they always hated Christians because they always sounded so "perfect," but when she read my journal she realized that faith is a STRUGGLE at the best of times, and she didn't need to be PERFECT for God to love her. I cried.

To my mother-in-law: Love you, dear. I can accept the person who is homosexual for the human being they are, you are right, and that's what I'm trying to say. But I won't be actively supporting the sexual lifestyle that person has chosen. I just can't stand being judged as a whole person by ONE of my beliefs. And if we're speaking of one particular person, then you'd better believe I've already been judged, when I've not handed out any judgement from this side, nor do I plan to. So. The ball is out of my court.

To gwen: Then your god isn't the one true and living God, because He doesn't shy away from how He feels on the subject. But! Jesus also says the number one commandment is to Love God and Love Others. If I don't love the person who is a homosexual, I'm offending God. That's what I'm trying to say here, but I had a feeling NO ONE WOULD BE LISTENING. There is no hypocrisy if you are struggling to do what is right, and admit and ask forgiveness for your mistakes. And there is no incoherence in my post. I tried to be painstakingly clear. Love the sinner, not the sin. That's the bottom line. Sorry you missed it.

Michelle, what is "supporting" the homosexual lifestyle? Can you tell me what it means? Truly I am trying to understand....To me, it simply means, your faith will not allow you to ever agree with it...But, does it mean more? Does it mean this person cannot be in your home? your life? near your children? Do you mean, there are conditions on this person?

Please share...
Paula

Supporting it would be meeting a cute gay guy and introducing him to this particular person to see if they hit it off. Supporting it would be agreeing with this particular person that mmmmmm the male gymnasts on the Olympics were yummy. It has nothing to do with having someone to my house, or loving them to pieces. It's only a SLICE of who they are that I can't support. I won't be at gay rights parades or voting to support gay marriages.

And on another note, it's not just the "bedroom" that we're talking about, either. When you choose a partner, as your son chose me, your partner doesn't stay hidden in the bedroom. Your partner shares your life. So it's not just a "bedroom" thing. That's what I mean by a "lifestyle." Heterosexual people may do things I don't personally care for in their bedrooms, but you're right - the bedroom is none of my business, whether heterosexual or homosexual. Just wanted to clear that up.

And Paula, this is too close a subject for you and I, so we'd be better off communicating about this in person. Just like I've offered other people.

You know, it is unfortunate--I really liked you until you proved to be unable to accept gay and lesbian people.

Maybe it is naive of me to expect that someone who has a relative (by blood or by marriage) who is gay to be less of a biggot.

Your attitude is not surprising in the least, but it IS disappointing. I fear what would happen to your child if he/she turned out gay. Would you turn them away? Would you tell them that they were damned to hell by your god? Why do you think so many gay and lesbian youth kill themselves? It is attitudes such as yours and your interpritation of the (human translated, and thus, possibly flawed) bible.

I pray for your soul, Michelle. The bible says "judge not, lest ye be judged" and in God's eyes, your premarital sex was as big a sin as a homosexuality. Of course, in God's eyes you are also right in line with a murder, a child rapist and people who lie, so who are you to judge?

Wait, we're you just ranting and raving about how your Mean Judgmental Catholic in-laws were criticizing your because you were re-marrying after a divorce? If it's terrible and awful for them to judge your divorce as wrong on the basis of their religious beliefs, why is it suddenly acceptable for you to say homosexuality is wrong on the basis of your religious beliefs? They declined to attend your wedding because they believed that what you were doing was a sin; how is this different from your refusal to "actively support" a gay person's "lifestyle?"

Frankly, you're coming across as awfully hypocritical on this issue.

Jeez! I got here by being a long-time reader of Kevin (Change over time), following his links to various other diaries which I had been reading for years and, with your engagement to Stephen, began reading yours as well! I hope it doesn't seem to stalker-ish! But I just keep happening onto the journals of really interesting, earnest folk, trying to find their way in the world, and reading all their thoughts on life and day-to-day activities -- it's just a slice of reality that is different from my ordinary interactions with the folks in my "real" life . . .

All that said . . . although I couldn't disagree with you more on the subject of homosexuality (I find the idea personally kind of "icky", but really am willing to allow that we all were created differently in so many respects, and that is one of the differences among folk. To my thinking, homosexuals are not right or wrong -- they just are). What I take exception with is people trying to criticize your faith (on both sides! Too liberal, not liberal enough! Sheesh!). All God, has ever asked us to do, and he sent Jesus to show us how to do it, is to do our best, to seek him, and to take care of one another. You've written nothing (and of course I don't know you personally, but I get the idea that neither do most of judgmental, anonymous folks) to indicate that you're not doing that. You're doing your best to follow God, and to love your brothers and sisters as best you can. Your goodness and earnestness rings true. I know you don't NEED the approval of some stranger, but sometimes it's nice to know that people think well of you. Hang in there! Congratulations on your wedding and know you have my prayers and support as your little family grows!

Shelly

"Assumptions have been made about how I feel. I will come straight out and say this - if you define your entire being, your entire self by merely a piece of who you are, by a slice of what makes you up, then you are headed for some rough times. You will take everything everyone says about that one slice so personally that it will drive you crazy. You will hate people who say things about that one piece of you, taking it to mean they meant what they said to be about the entirety of you."

but, michelle, this is a really simplistic boiling down of it. being gay isn't just a "slice" of personality that can be removed from a person's being at will; think about how your sexuality -- your attraction to men -- affects your entire life, from your socialization patterns to your taxes (because now you can file as married, no?) to your pregnancy. now think about what would happen if that was constantly brought up and bandied about as a political playing card; the constant demonization of gay people (note the second word) often forces them to be more open and out as a fight-or-flight reaction. just think, michelle, if something that was an intrinsic part of your self was constantly under attack -- not just by institutions (some of which, like governments, have little place being there), but by people claiming 'tolerance.'

and, not for nothing, but i sort of agree with the person who stuck his hand in the crazy a few posts above.

Concerned Christian...

I personally applaud Michelle's openess in her struggles. Would you rather she say she's a Christian and not admit that she had struggled with sex outside of wedlock? According to my priest, the one thing Jesus condemned most in the Bible was hypocrisy. Would you rather that she hide her personality and pretend to be the cardboard cutout image of Christianity so many have come to know and love, one who would never dare utter a cuss word. Please.

I'll take the honesty every day over cardboard "authenticity". Christ came to save sinners. We should all remember that, and look in the mirror before we dare speak a word in judgement to any of our brothers and sisters.

not addressing the "gay" thing at all.

rock on Michelle!

Yes, that is what I would like people to consider. Many think it is important for them to point out the sin to the homosexual. Why? I do not understand. Many homosexuals can read. Many homosexuals know the bible. Many homosexuals are Christian and follow Our Lord. How would we like it, if each time, we gathered with friends or family that, for the Love of God, we are told of our sinfulness. Now, I admit, it would be different, if we were ALL TALKING ABOUT OUR SINFULNESS ...but we all know that is not how the conversation goes. It is usually, pointed out clearly to the homosexual about how wrong their life style is in Our Lord's eyes. I once read a quote..that went something like this:
"LORD SAVE ME FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS"
I beg you each to think of it. Put the shoes on from the other guy..and think how it must feel. To always be on public display for lectures involving their personal relationship with Jesus.
In closing, I will say this...This is clearly an opinion..and opinions are worth about nothin!

Paula

Opps, the above is NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT directed at Michelle...NOT...just want that understood..

Hugs,
Paula

I think what you said is hard for people to grasp. My friends have a hard time with it. I'm sort of forced into saying gay marriage etc. is okay because I fear confrontation; I've already had one on this subject, and I'm not sure I'd like another one. But it's great that you can hold strong in your beliefs like this. I have a hard time with it, and I'm surrounded by fellow Catholics/Christians all the time. (We're teenagers, though: it makes a difference, as you probably know.)

I hope any struggles you're having with confrontation on this issue are resolved, and congratulations on your wedding. (I failed to post before.) Have a good day!

I'm glad nobody told me that being a Christian would be fun... This sucks.

But hey! At least I received confirmation that I was the "Crazy" that a hand was stuck into! Wow, just think... my legacy lives on. ::rolls eyes::

And to: Sticking His Hands in the Crazy:

Why are you still reading my site if you are such an ardent hater?

Whatever.

And: to Maura and Sticking His Hands - The reason my extended in-laws didn't attend the wedding WASN'T because of my divorce - you need to read a little slower. We received one ranty-pants response card about the divorce and remarriage issue, but EVERYONE ELSE refused to come because we weren't getting married in the Catholic Church (regardless of the fact we're not Catholic).

And, note to self: When did I decide to turn my journal into a public forum? And why? I said what I needed to say, and that should be all that's said. After all, it's my journal.